Artie’s Dirge in the Dark for Steve Jobs

I’ve been using and loving Apple products since I bought my Macintosh IIsi 3MB/40MB in 1994 with my babysitting/yardwork money. Steve Jobs brought a lot of magic to the world. -Artie

“Apple Pie”

A long, long time ago,
I can still remember when the UNIX prompt could make me smile.
And when the login didn’t fail,
We all could check if we had mail
And we would all be happy for a while.

But Cupertino’s press releases
Dashed October hopes to pieces:
Bad news at the keynote.
It seems that’s all that she wrote.
I almost gave in to despair
When I thought about the market share
And nothing in the world seemed fair
The day the UNIX died.

So bye-bye, Mr. iApple Pie
While the press reads RSS feeds, RSS feeds reply.
The blogosphere is toasting mud in your eye
And saying “This’ll be the day that I die.
This’ll be the day that I die.”

Did you write the native code
And do you chmod the [options] mode
If the README tells you to?
Do you believe in plug and play?
Will iPhone work with Sprint someday?
Do you remember when the hammer flew?

Well I know your modem’s preinstalled
‘Cause your line was busy when I called
You need a separate jack
To plug it in the back.

I was a high faluting network deb,
With a fast connection to the World Wide Web,
But I knew I was at low ebb
The day the UNIX died.

I started Tweeting:
“Bye-bye, Mr. iApple Pie
While the press reads RSS feeds, RSS feeds reply.
The blogosphere is toasting mud in your eye
And saying ‘This’ll be the day that I die.’
This’ll be the day that I die.'”

So there were all in one place
In Generation Cyberspace
Control-splat-on to start again…
When Doctor Newton warned us to pay heed
In a note, which no one here could read,
‘Cause Isaac is a devil with a pen.

And as we watched in ninety-five
Few die-hard fans were left alive
No angel born in Hell
Could guard those Gates so well.

And as the rebels welcomed back their Jobs
He laid off hordes of angry mobs
The whole valley shook with sounds of sobs
The day the UNIX died.

They were Tweeting:
“Bye-bye, Mr. iApple Pie
While the press reads RSS feeds, RSS feeds reply.
The blogosphere is toasting mud in your eye
And saying ‘This’ll be the day that I die.’
This’ll be the day that I die.'”

I met a girl named Bondi Blue
And I asked if she liked iPad 2
But she just smiled and turned away.
I went down to the Apple Store
Where I’d bought my PowerBook G4
But the man there said that iTunes wouldn’t play.

And in quick time, the headlines flashed.
The fail whales flew, the servers crashed.
The home page simply stated:
“His network signal faded.”

And the one man who defined our age
He wrapped his keynote, left the stage,
And “liked” his cloud computing page
The day the UNIX died.


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